Miscellaneous · Uncategorized · West Indian Life

You can’t pour from an empty cup

“You can’t pour from an empty cup”. Most of us have seen this quote floating around on the internet, but what does it really mean? The literal interpretation seems very obvious; if a cup is empty you can’t get anything from it. However, for the sake of this blog post we’ll focus on the figurative meaning.

“What’s the figurative meaning?”, you ask? Well I take it as ‘if you’re low on energy you won’t be able to help those around you’.

Too many times we forget this. We forget that we’re human beings and we need the same love and attention we give to everyone else. How many times have you listened to your loved ones’ problems? How many times have you felt abandoned when you needed them to reciprocate?

We give, and we give and never get, until it seems like there’s nothing left to give. Until you feel empty and hollow inside. In my short time on this earth I’ve come to realize that you can’t wait for someone to fill you up. You have to do it for yourself dear.

I’ve learnt that lasting happiness and fulfillment comes from within, not from other people. People can make you happy, I don’t discount that, but LASTING happiness comes from your own internal joy.

You don’t have to do big things to make yourself happy. Have you ever heard “it’s the little things that count”? Well guess what? It works when you do it for yourself as well. I’ll even list some of my personal favourites.

1) Eating ice cream and cake for breakfast. It’s naughty but it makes me feel so good.

2) Turning off my phone and reading a few chapters from a book. Usually a book I’ve already read as I know for a fact there will be no ugly surprises.

3) I play with my makeup. I usually swatch shiny eyeshadows and go “waaaaw” even though I’ve worn them several times before. I’ll even try on a few lipsticks.

4) Jam to upbeat music on my ipod and dance like a crazy person. This is my personal favourite because it gets my blood going. Sadly it’s no longer a viable option as my ipod kicked the bucket after 7 long years of faithful service.

*Send me a new Ipod Lord*

So you see, it doesn’t take much to “fill up your cup”. If you want to be of service to people, start by being of service to yourself.

Please comment below and tell me your favourite things to do when you need a pick me up. Don’t forget to like my blog post and subscribe!

hair · Miscellaneous · West Indian Life

The Shea Moisture Commercial

I have exams…I shouldn’t be writing this article.

Like most naturalistas on the internet I saw Shea Moisture’s joke of a commercial last night 24/04/2017. Just to give a brief recap the ad features three women; 2 white and one bi-racial/racially ambiguous woman talking about their hair struggles. Now if you’re already confused don’t worry you should be. Shea Moisture’s core buying audience is mostly black women with kinky hair…yet there were none in sight.

IT IS HARD TO FIND NATURAL HAIR PRODUCTS THAT WORK FOR KINKY HAIR. For months people have been complaining that Shea Moisture has changed some of their core ingredients and that the products no longer work. Now we know why; Shea Moisture has been gentrified.

They are trying to make their products work for white and black hair but we all know that is impossible. Most white people have straight fine hair and on the other spectrum you have me; coarse kinky hair. Buying products at the hair supply store has always been a game of Russian roulette when you have kinky hair. Now there will be one less brand that caters to me.

Let’s talk about the red head’s “struggle”. Apparently for six years she dyed her hair platinum blond and now she can finally be a redhead. Are we seriously trying to equate that to the struggle of black women and their natural hair?

Let me illustrate real struggle. I returned natural when it was less popular in my country, the movement was just about to begin. One Monday I wore a twist out with bobby pins to pin my hair back out of my face, I felt cute. I went to work that morning and received many compliments, I was on cloud nine until my supervisor intervened. She dragged me aside to scold my hair, “why would you wear your hair like that to work? It is inappropriate for the customers to look at. They don’t want to see that!” I was dumbfounded.

Let me put this is context. I live in the Caribbean, 80% of the citizens are described as afro Caribbean. Meaning we are black with kinky hair. Yes ladies and gentlemen the slave mentality is that deep.

How was the hair that grew out of my scalp inappropriate?…She then dragged me to the other female supervisor who promptly agreed with her. I was so angry I cried. You see this is the discrimination black women face everywhere. I worked as a teller at a bank so I understand the desire for us to look “neat” but pray tell why my 3C co-worker was able to wear the same hairstyle? Apparently her hair was never inappropriate.

I am all for inclusivity with the Shea Moisture brand, I am not saying white women shouldn’t be able to buy their products. However, instead of making the few products that work for kinky hair suit straight hair, how about making a separate line? Shea Moisture for straight or wavy hair. I am happy natural hair is being more accepted but the journey is definitely not over.

Please don’t be afraid to comment and give your honest opinions. I’d love to read your thoughts.

Uncategorized · West Indian Life

The Bittersweet Life of a Millennial (in the West Indies)

Millennial – A person reaching young adulthood in the early 21st century. 

So basically anyone born between 1980 and 2000 (more or less).

Now that we have defined the term millennial, let’s take a peek at the actual millennials themselves. I should note that I am 21 therefore a millennial, so I am subject to bias, but you probably already knew that.

You hear so much about the American, the Canadian and the European millennials, but what about those in the Caribbean? Surely our cultural differences skew our experiences.

Let’s start with our similarities:

  • Student debt

This is self explanatory but let’s talk about it some more incase someone didn’t know. MILLENNIALS ARE DROWNING IN SCHOOL DEBT. Most of my peers cannot even dream to build  a home before they are 30, they’re too busy paying back their student loans. This goes even further than owning a home. What about entrepreneurs? How can they think about investing in themselves when half their paycheck goes back to the bank every payday.

I have firsthand experience as I worked at a bank, I saw student loans up close and personal. It frightened me. I do not blame the banks, their job is to supply loans they do not create the demand. Literally half of their paychecks would go towards their loan. The biggest irony? The amount left in the account was always less than what they made BEFORE their degree.

  • HIV/AIDS Epidemic

The Caribbean is the second most HIV/AIDS infected region in the world and there are several reasons for this. Firstly, everyone thought HIV was a male homosexual disease and FYI the Caribbean is VERY HOMOPHOBIC. (It’s technically illegal to even be a homosexual in my country). “So if the disease only affects ‘bulla man’ why not just let them die out?” I can imagine that was the mentality back then. Except HIV/AIDS is extremely non-discriminatory and by the time they realized this, it was already too late.

I know what you’re thinking, “when last somebody dead from AIDS?” . Yes, anti-retro drugs work much better at prolonging lives. However, there are two issues; one they are EXPENSIVE and two VERY DAMAGING to your other organs. So yes, people live longer, but at what cost?

Why worry about the cost though? The millennials will pick up the tab…Image result for side eye emoji

Now for the differences:

  • Bonds and Brain drains

These are technically two issues but I’ve decided to lump them together in the name of context. A bond is a very common thing in the Caribbean, it’s basically a piece of paper you sign with the government for your tertiary education in exchange for your soul! *dramatic much*. They pay for your economic costs, tuition, living expenses etc. In return you must come back to your home country and work for the duration of the bond + 2 years (in my country at least). Rumplestiltskin anyone?

You must think this is barbaric and unfair , truthfully it isn’t… it really isn’t. You see donkey years ago you didn’t have to sign bonds in order to get free or subsidized tertiary education. However, over the years less and less people would return to their home countries after completing their degrees.

So, what happens when you invest MILLIONS into your best and brightest and they don’t return to pay their dues? Why a brain drain of course.

Countless doctors, lawyers, scientists, analysts etc. we have lost to brain drain. Well why did they leave you ask? Why money of course…it’s always money. Wages are much lower in the Caribbean than the UK and North America. Why slave away in a developing country when they can make big bucks in the ‘Big Apple’?

So now you have this dilemma. Do I run away and make lots of money? Or do I stay and build my country? I chose to be an economist because I want to be directly involved in the welfare of my country, but is it fair to expect the same of my peers? Some see it as me simply doing my duty, while others see it as self sacrifice. I cannot judge them, even I am acutely aware of how much more money I would make if I migrated.

However, this is my country. They have given me my entire identity. The least I can do is contribute so that others may have the same opportunities I was allowed.

  • Cultural Abandonment

This is the last but certainly not the least accusation against us. Apparently we’re diluting our culture or throwing it away for the American lifestyle.

Riddle me this, is it that we are throwing away our culture or is the culture evolving? Truthfully I think it is a bit of both.

Carnival is the biggest example. There are several origins for Carnival in the Caribbean depending on the island, but one theme is consistent; Carnival is an escape from oppression. The masqueraders’ costumes were cultural representations of the islands. Now? They have been reduced (quite literally) to skimpy underwear and feathers. Personally I have no problem with this, give the people what they want and the people want to whine up in town half naked.

Do you consider this abandonment of the old ways? Or an evolution of an old custom.

To conclude I agree that we have much more opportunities than our parents and grandparents. Not to mention an increased standard of living but it’s not all a field of roses. Or maybe it is. I imagine going through a field of roses SEEMS fun until you’re there and you feel the thorns.

Please tell me your thoughts, even if you disagree. ESPECIALLY if you disagree. I love to hear opposing thoughts as it offers new perspectives and insights. I hope you enjoyed my little think piece!

bulla man – a derogatory word for homosexual male

whine – gyrating your waist to music

donkey years – a long time